10 Battle Tactics I Learned From My Cat

1. DEFILADE...DEFILADE...DEFILADE.

2. If no defilade is available, liberally use speed and unpredictable movement.

3. The intentional showing of a soft belly can be an effective lure.

4. Surprise ambushes can be effective, but always have a rapid exit available in case it doesn’t go as planned.

5. Having night vision is an asset, especially when your target doesn’t.

6. Lull the enemy into a false sense of security by appearing to be lazy and immobile.

7. It is important to occasionally show those in charge of you the results of your skills. They will likely not want to see or handle the gory guts, but can’t help but be impressed with your ability.

8. Always keep multiple weapons at your immediate disposal.

9. If the enemy is creeping up on you, never wait for him to arrive. Advance on him when he is committed to a movement and least expects it.

10. Never show the enemy your ass.